From the writings of Henri J.M. Nouwen, compiled by Wendy Wilson Greer in:
"The Only Necessary Thing; Living a Prayerful Life"
That God Loves Me is the Basic Truth of Who I Am ....
Try to enter this enormous mystery, namely that you, like Jesus, are the beloved daughter or beloved son of God. This is the truth.
You were the beloved before your father, mother, brother, sister, or church loved you or hurt you. You are the beloved because you belong to God from all eternity. God loved you before you were born, and God will love you after you die.
In Scripture, God says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." This is a very fundamental truth of your identity. This is who you are, whether you feel it or not. You belong to God from eternity to eternity.
Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say, "I love you too."
Facing Death, With Life and Love ....
Somewhere, deep in me, I sensed that my life was in real danger. And so I let myself enter into a place I had never been before: the portal of death. I wanted to now that place, to "walk around" it, and make myself ready for a life beyond life. It was the first time in my life that I consciously walked into this seemingly fearful place, the first time I looked forward to what might be a new way of being. I tried to let go of my familiar world. I tried not to look back, but ahead. I kept looking at the door that might open to me and show me something beyond anything I had ever seen.
I knew very concretely that He was there for me, but also that He was embracing the universe. I knew that, indeed, He was the Jesus I had prayed to and spoken about, but also that now He did not ask for prayers or words. All was well. The words that summarize it all, are "LIFE" and "LOVE".... Death lost its power and shrank away in the Life and Love that surrounded me in such an intimate way, as if I were walking through a sea moving toward the other shore. All jealousies, resentments, and angers were being gently moved away, and I was being shown that Life and Love are greater, deeper, and stronger than any of the forces I had been worrying about.
One emotion was very strong; that of homecoming. Jesus opened His home to me and seemed to say, "Here is where you belong" .... The risen Jesus, who now dwells with His Father, was welcoming me home after a long journey .... As I felt life weakening in me, I felt a deep desire to forgive and to be forgiven, to let go of all evaluations and opinions, to be free from the burden of judgments.
Trusting in the Catcher ....
When trapeze artists perform in the circus, there is a flyer and catcher. The flyer must simply stretch out his arms and hands, and wait for the catcher to pull him to safety. If the flyer tries to also do the catching, he will fall. The flyer must do nothing.
Jesus said, "Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit". Dying is trusting in the catcher. Do not be afraid. Remember that you are the beloved child of God.
He will be there when you make your long jump. Don't try to grab Him; He will grab you. Just stretch out your arms and hands; and Trust, Trust, Trust.
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8 comments:
Dear Brent,
Kyla and I have been reading your blogs and your dad's e-mails. We think of you often and struggle with all the feelings your illness has raised for us. It's been pointless to try to come up with reasons for this. There is no explanation for why bad things happen to good people except that bad things happen and no one is immune. What differs though is the way in which each of us responds to tragedy. You've been able to model courage, acceptance and a lack of despair. You have shown that one does not need to lose faith when prayers for physical healing are not answered; that the answer to prayer comes in the form of support from friends, family, and strangers and in being granted a sense of peace for what lies ahead. By sharing your thoughts so openly, all of us who have followed your journey are better equipped to deal with our own hardships.
Be assured that you will be leaving a legacy. I know that you and Usha have been involved in important work which will continue to have a positive impact after you are gone. It's also obvious that Brian and Ben will make important contributions with their life's work. Yours has been a life well lived and the world is a better place for it. That is all that any of us can hope for when our time here is finished.
Our prayer for you, Brent, is that your pain will be controlled and that you will have a chance to enjoy your family and friends. We also hope that the ourpouring of support you have received will give you peace in the knowledge that your family will be surrounded by a caring community once you are gone. Hopefully kwowing that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many will be of some comfort to you.
Our love and support continues,
Brian and Kyla Zehr
Brent,
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. When you spoke this past Sunday, the burdens of doubt and dread were lifted. It was such a great blessing. Lives are changed in such moments and we see glimpses of eternity.
Greg Springer
Brent,
Your blog is inspirational! Thanks for sharing your journey along this part of life's path. I think some of your comments have helped me understand myself. I admire your faith and strength. Some of your old colleagues here at Purdue are praying for you and your family.
Give my greetings to Usha.
Bill McFee
Brent,
I was one of the visiting Unitarian Universalists at Sunday's worship service. I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you shared with all of us. For the first time in my life I saw the Body of Christ in action, and for that I cannot thank you enough. May the Lord bless you and keep you, make his face shine upon you, and give you peace.
Sincerely,
Jason
Dear Brent,
I continue to read your blog.
I am sometimes filled with sadness but your courage and faith are uplifting.
Even though we have never met, I sense your extreme graciousness and inner refinement. I realize God did indeed make us in his likeness, we forget the greatness we are capable of. Thank you for reminding me.
A few lines from the Bhagvad Gita.
Every pain, every ache, every discomfort become His gift, and grace when you lay it in His lap. If you put the reins of your life-chariot in His hands, you will be ever happy, ever peaceful. This is the lesson of ultimate surrender.
O Lord, I remembered You, because You remembered me first.
One breaks away every yoke of bondage, and becomes free in this very life as soon as one gains the knowledge and a firm conviction that everything is done by the will of God; it is His world, His sport, and His battle, not ours; and regards oneself as a mere actor in the divine play, and the Lord as the great director in the cosmic drama of soul on the stage of creation. Surrendering of individual will to divine will is the culmination of all spiritual practices resulting in joyful participation in the drama of joys and sorrows of life. One cannot see God as long as one does not completely get rid of the notion of doer-ship and ownership. The grace of God is triggered when one becomes firmly convinced that he or she is not the doer, and at once becomes free in this very life.
May the Lord continue to protect you and your family,
Minnie
Dear Dr. Brent,
I just recall the day when you had visited our place in Mumbai. By the way, I am Lilly (Michael's wife). I still remember you as a God loving and not fearing person. Maybe God really loves you so much, that he has given you so much strength and wants you to be with Him. Hence ignoring our prayer. And that strength is visible in all that you've been writing till this time. I only wish that I take and keep this strength from you for my days to come. Your messages have been just bringing us closer and closer to God, to ask a miracle for you. Michael is very disturbed. He keeps talking about you to every one he meets and requests for prayers. Every morning when the phone beeps with a message, we want to read FROM you and not about you. Please pray for us, to give us the strength to let you go, if at all you have to. Your wife Usha certainly must be a very strong woman to stand like a pillar at your side. We pray for her and your sons. Please don't forget to pray for us. God will listen to you as he really, really loves you.
Sincerely
Lilly
Dear Brent:
Thank your for this really wonderful post. Many of the thoughts you share are worth pondering. At the moment, I'm struck by the line As I felt life weakening in me, I felt a deep desire to forgive and to be forgiven, to let go of all evaluations and opinions, to be free from the burden of judgments.
If you have time to share more of your thoughts on that subject, I'd greatly appreciate it. I've been wrestling with understanding how we use evaluation and judgment both in personal and professional settings (I'm a teacher). In personal life, think this issue is central to how we participate in life. Evaluating others or their actions as inferior or wrong is often used as an excuse to exclude them or not respond to the issues that prompted them to act. Jesus' saying "Judge not lest ye be judged" comes to mind. I think knowing how to apply this is crucial, as we must continually make all kinds of evaluations in order to make day-to-day decisions in life. So I'm wondering whether you think that it is possible, or in what sense it might be possible, to let go of opinions and judgments of others.
Your participation in life by sharing yourself at this time is a precious gift to us and honors your family and your faith.
God's peace be with you,
Bob
Dear Brent,
We are sad to know that your immune system is decreasing but appreciate that your will power is still going strong and that is the difference between you and a common man.
You have certainly grate courage , inspiration , confidence in life to face such a serious health problem, it is incredible.This will make grate positive impact on all of us to face realty of life. Your faithfulness to God and inspiration will always be remembered by all of us and your family.
Grate family , yes, Dr Usha, Brian , Ben & all family members , we admire for their courage and support.
Wish you speedy recovery.
With kindest regards,
Kamal Somani
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