Brent's Journey Has Ended

This is Brent's father writing at his request to report the conclusion of his journey with adult onset pleomorphic rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare and aggressive form of soft tissue cancer typically found in children, very rarely in adults. Brent passed away November 17th at the age of 46 years surrounded by his family at the home of his parents, John and Betty Zehr, Urbana, IL. A Celebration of Life Memorial Service will be held at 2:00 PM on Saturday, December 1st at the First Mennonite Church, 902 W. Springfield Ave., Urbana, Illinois. Since his last Blog, October 28th, Brent's health deteriorated rapidly making it impossible for him to post further messages.

Although Brent's initial Blog was in May 2007, his struggle with the disease began a year earlier. In the spring of 2006, while attending a research conference in Copenhagen, he first noticed a slight swelling at the eventual tumor site in his leg, assuming it was probably a hamstring injury and little knowing the lurking danger it posed. While struggling with this disease, he used this Blog site to openly share his thoughts, feelings and insights with the hope that others might find encouragement and comfort for their own personal journey, whatever that might be. As he neared the end of his life, Brent asked that, after he was gone, I write this post to announce his passing and later an additional final post to provide some details about the memorial service celebrating his life. He especially asked that these final posts be submitted as a way of bringing closure for those who have expressed their concerns during his difficult journey. Over the past months, Brent received cards, letters, phone calls, e-mails and Blog responses from individuals from both the US and around the world, some coming from individuals with whom he was simply acquainted, others with whom he had professional working relationships and yet others whom he had never met. For these, he was very grateful and encouraged that his posts had been an inspiration to others, many of whom also face their own difficult circumstances.

The majority of those reading his Blog knew very little about Brent other than information included in his posts. Therefore, without elaborating on the comments that appeared in his writings, I will provide a few details about his personal life: who he was, what he did and how he became the person most of you came to know only from his Blog posts.

Brent was quiet, unassuming and unpretentious, yet very bright. He was blessed with a mind of unusual perception and depth. At an early age it was apparent that he absorbed and processed information quickly and easily. As early as the second grade, his teachers remarked that "he thinks differently than the rest of the class." Throughout his grade school years, teachers often commented that he asked "what if" and "why" kinds of questions which were unusual for a child. Would not an event have turned out better if only someone had acted earlier? Why didn't someone do something about it before it was too late? He would ponder on new and different ways to deal with a situation that might have made a difference. Today, we call this "thinking outside the box." As a young child, Brent was "thinking outside the box" before the term was coined. He obtained an undergraduate degree at the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, and went on to complete a PhD in Agronomy in June of 1990. His thesis research dealt with developing unique methods to identify genetic markers to be applied in maize breeding and, in general, applications to modify and enhance plant performance, particularly those related to improved food production. Along the way, he met and married an exceptionally gifted young woman from India, Usha Barwale, who also earned a PhD degree in a similar field. During the year prior to completion and defense of his doctoral dissertation, Brent was recruited to the teaching and research faculty of Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana. After completing his PhD, he and his family moved to Purdue where he lectured, supervised graduate student training and conducted plant research with corn. Usha also held a position as a plant research scientist during their time at Purdue. In the fall of 1996, he and Usha resigned their positions at Purdue and moved with their two sons, Benjamin and Brian, then aged three and seven, to India where Brent assumed the positon of Director of Research for the Maharashtra Hybrid Seed Company (Mahyco). There, he, assisted by Usha, led teams of research scientists in the development and application of modern genetic and biotechnology techniques. Over the past decade, their work has resulted in significant improvements in an array of hybrid varieties of food, fiber and edible oil crops, all of which has enhanced the welfare of countless small farmers and their families in India and has implications for others throughout the world. Until the final weeks of his life, Brent was in conversation by e-mail with his colleagues and staff in India making comments on the results of work they had sent for his review and suggesting future avenues to pursue.

From his earliest years, Brent was an avid and skilled fisherman, much more so than his two brothers and only sister. Since I (his father) was also a fishing enthusiast, over the years we tested the waters of Illinois, Missouri, Wisconsin and Minnesota. We fished several years at a remote Canadian lake accessible only by fly-in pontoon planes. We fished at isolated lakes of the high country of British Columbia, in streams of the Cascade Mountains and the wider Pacific Ocean. We once spent a half-day off the coast of Hawaii hoping to catch a Marlin, without success. While he was an early teenager, Brent and I spent two weeks canoeing, fishing and camping in the Canadian wilderness, seeing no one and in complete isolation for the entire period. Later, as a college student, he led groups of students and adults on canoe and camping trips to the Canadian boundary waters. To the very end, he never lost the urge to get away for a time to some remote area to go fishing. In fact, during his final appointment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, upon learning from sarcoma specialists that the new monoclonal antibody experimental treatments, of which he was a subject, were unsuccessful and that there was no known treatment for his rare type of cancer and that his life would soon be ending, he called and asked if I could come and join him for one last trip to Bowstring Lake, a beautiful spot in northern Minnesota where, with his two sons, we had spent time fishing for a number of years. Regrettably, his health and energy had deteriorated to such an extent that it was not possible for us to make that "last trip to Bowstring". Rather than spending his final days in a hospital undergoing further, and undoubtedly futile, efforts to temporarily prolong his life, he and Usha made the difficult decision to return to the home of his parents to live out his final days surrounded by his immediate family while under the care of a Hospice nurse. His final weeks were marked by numerous visits from family members, from friends and other acquaintances and from professional colleagues, both from the US and abroad. Those visits were deeply appreciated and brought closure to some very meaningful professional and personal relationships.

A Final Farewell to Brent:

Brent, we were privileged and honored that you were a member of our family. Even though you left us much too soon, you had an exceptionally full and productive life. You married a spectacularly gifted wife (Usha) who has given you two fine sons. You traveled the world on research and business matters, as well as for recreational activities with your family. You were comfortable and worked effectively in both Eastern and Western cultures. You met and worked with a wide range of interesting people, from small underprivileged Indian farmers, to politicians, to academicians and Noble Prize winners. You were an outstanding research scientist whose contributions in modern plant biotechnology had a positive impact on the economic welfare of those who aspire for a better life for their families. For years to come, the results of your work will continue to influence the lives of many around the world. You were an effective administrator having gifts for the leadership required for team building to identify and develop new research initiatives and to transfer that research from the laboratory to the fields. Furthermore, as your life neared its end, your Blog posts left a lasting impact on many people, most of whom remain unknown to you. You shared your thoughts about the uncertainties of life and how one accepts the certainty of an approaching death. The raw honesty and courage with which you wrote were a continuation of the integrity you demonstrated throughout your life and the world is better because you were a part of it. Your pain has now ended and you are in a far better place. Someone has suggested that God's greatest gift to us is death because it opens the path to restoration. Brent you have now received God's final and greatest gift - - the path to restoration. With Usha's excellent nurturing skills and dedication to your family, you may rest assured that your young sons, Benjamin and Brian, will be well cared for and will grow to be a credit and honor to your legacy. While they will never fully understand the tragedy in their lives of the loss of their father and best friend, during your final weeks you spent much time and counseled them extensively about your impending death and how their lives would be affected thereafter. All of which has softened their pain and provided them with wisdom of which they would otherwise have been deprived. For this, they will be forever grateful.

Surely, there must be a place in heaven:
- where crystal clear lakes are surrounded by green forests,
- where loons cry their lonesome calls in the night,
- where walleye and northerns and muskie and bass await to play their pesky games with those trying to catch them,
- where a mallard duck swims quietly across the glassy water followed single-file by her little brood. Together, they leave a V-shaped wake, almost as if a playful God had dipped a finger in the water to create a trace across the glassy surface.

And as the early morning dawn announces a new day and the sun begins to rise over the evergreens of the surrounding forests, a bald eagle soars high overhead.

Then you will know that surely this must be a part of heaven. If not, then these are places where heaven has come down to touch the earth.

We know this for certain, Brent -- because, together, we have often watched the early morning sun rise on places such as this. Surely, God was there. So this, too, must be a part of heaven.

Farewell for now, Brent. You have gone on before us, but we will meet you at the place where there is no more pain, no more sarcomas, no more anger, no more conflict - - - only peace and praise for the One to whom we have committed our lives.

Your Dad, Mother and Family

Addendum: At Brent's request, I will submit a final Blog entry outlining something of the memorial service celebrating his life. Also, prior to his passing, in response to a number of requests, Brent asked that his Blog posts be compiled into a book for those who might be interested. To request a copy, e-mail me at: Zjbz@aol.com. Please identify your request on the subject line as: Brent' Journey. This will be helpful in sorting out those requests from routine junk mail. Pease provide a name and mailing address.

Update on Brent's Health Status

Friends of Brent:

Brent has requested that I send a brief update on the current status of his health. Since his most recent blog post, October 28th, he has experienced increased breathing problems and his general energy has dissipated significantly. Currently, he is confined to his bed and unable to write further blog entries, therefore he wanted me to provide this information to those who might be interested. He has appreciated all those who have written words of encouragement, including blog comments, e-mails, cards and letters. Your words have been a blessing to him.

His two sons, Brian, a student at the University of Illinois, and Benjamin, a freshmen at Urbana High School, are able to spend significant periods of time with him each evening. This has been a joy for him, the boys and Usha.

Brent is receiving appropriate medical care which provides as much physical comfort as possible under the present circumstances. For this we are all grateful

We shall keep you informed in the future when further develpments concerning Brent seem appropriate.

Brent's father:

John E. Zehr