THE MEANING OF IT ALL

Dear Friends,

Since I was diagnosed with spread of my cancer in a form which is incurable, a number of positive things have happened in my life ....

I have felt a strong awakening of my God-given Spirit, which has provided great insight and guidance during this difficult time. I feel as though many years of spiritual growth and maturity have been gifted to me, over just a few months. I wonder what levels of enlightenment could have been achieved if I had just been more open to spiritual growth over my entire life. In a strange way, God may have allowed this disease to take my physical being, but in the process saved my spiritual being for eternity.

Many people have written to me saying how my Blog entries have really changed their perspective on life, increased or renewed their belief in God, or simply awakened an interest in a Higher Being. I honestly did not anticipate such powerful reactions. I originally just intended to share my experiences with friends and family, who are very concerned and want to walk this path with me. This Blog has taken on a life of it's own and is being read and shared among people the world over, many of whom I have never personally met. As I look back on this process, I now understand that these Blog entries are inspired by that Higher Being. Many times I sit with my laptop and just start typing; ideas, words and sentences just seemingly coming from my fingertips - as if I were channeling messages with spiritual inspiration. I really can't credit my own mind for many of these entries. Now I understand that sharing of my experiences, writing down these inspirations, is having a positive effect on other people's lives. I sincerely hope that these writings will continue to help others strengthen their faith in God.

My children have been faced with death of their parent, but are going through this process from the standpoint of walking with God. Through our discussions, and the examples set by adults in their lives, my children are gaining insight into the meaning of faith and the promise of life after death. I can also see my children gaining maturity in their own faith. Deep discussions and questions surrounding God are commonly asked by my children now, which gives more opportunity for us to share together. I am beginning to understand that my passing will ultimately increase my children's interest in spiritual living, and their faith in God. I could not ask for a better legacy than this.

Perhaps there is purpose in my disease; a meaning behind my early demise. If these things I have just described are the true reason for my suffering and death, and this is God's will, then I have to agree that it is worthwhile. My illness has ultimately helped improve other people's lives, given my children strength in their understanding and faith in God, and saved my spiritual life for eternity. This is sometimes the way God works; although we are unable to understand at the time, and it doesn't fit our concept of "fairness".

I am not sure if I will be writing any further entries; it will depend on physical and mental ability, as well as inspiration. Therefore, I am writing as if this is my last entry. My wife and father have promised to finish this blog once I am gone and have it published as a booklet, in order to share with those who have interest. I am sure this will be passed down from my children to grandchildren. Among other remembrances of my life, this will also be a meaningful legacy.

I wish to thank Woodstock School, Mussoorie - India, for the inspiring pictures used in these last two blog entries. This is the school my oldest son attended for his junior and senior years of high school. It is located in the foothills of the Himalaya Mountains, amidst much natural beauty. These pictures are part of many they have posted on their web site.

With Much Love to All,
BRENT