Chemotherapy .. again .. and thankfulness

Dear Friends,
This week, I have started on another course of chemotherapy. After again consulting with my doctor last Monday, it was clear that we had to move rapidly to proceed with a different course of chemotherapy which is the next logical step for someone in my position. The nodules inside my lungs are also growing very rapidly, so we cannot spare any time in trying to slow this process. I took the new chemotherapy course on Tuesday, which was a 10 hour procedure on an outpatient basis. Applying the two chemo drugs does not take so long, but application of a protectant for my kidneys and bladder took 8 hours. Anyway, we spent the day in the outpatient clinic and had visitors come and go. These are two drugs which are different from those I took over 9 months previously. By Wednesday morning I was complaining to my wife, that I just didn't feel sick. In fact, this week I have felt less ill than normally would happen with the other chemo course experience. By today, Sunday, the only real difference is that the new chemo drugs seem to give more fatigue; but other side effects are less than before. I know that this is a blessing; but start to question whether these drugs will slow my nodule growth if they are not causing more illness in my normal cells. My doctor assures me that there is no relationship between the two processes; and I just seem to tolerate chemotherapy better than most people. Again, another blessing and reason to be joyful.

We will visit my doctor every Monday now, and take blood tests every week. The goal will be to again take another round of chemotherapy as soon as my immune system allows; in order to hit these cancer cells hard and often. I have also taken more responsibility to research my rare cancer type via Internet; and better understand what is known and can be done. This process leaves one humbled, and aware that there are limits to what a doctor can do in this situation. My condition is so rare, and more so in adults, that what is known as effective treatment is very limited. New drugs are available for various mechanisms of control, but all studied in more common forms of cancer (such as colon, prostate, breast, melanoma, etc). For a pleomorphic rhabdomyosarcoma in a middle-aged adult, much is speculation. I also more clearly understand that the new experimental drug treatment in Phase I trials in which we were interested, would not be appropriate and could waste valuable time. This drug would be appropriate for children with embryonic rhabdo (born with the condition, due to genetic errors at time of fertilization); but my condition is of a different origin (adult muscle tissue). I have some ideas for best approaches going forward, but need to explore these further. It is most important now for the current growth rate of my lung nodules to slow down or stop (or even reverse). So I will keep taking these current treatments and have faith in such a result.

There are a number of areas of my life to be thankful this week:
-- My family is finally reunited after many months. My oldest son has graduated from Woodstock School (International) in Mussoorie, India; and has returned to my home in the U.S. with my youngest son and wife. We have not been able to live together as a family for about 2 years. My oldest son will go to the University in our town, while my youngest son will enroll in high school here in the U.S. Last year, while I was going through surgery and my first 9 months of chemotherapy, the youngest son stayed in India with friends. My wife is also taking a leave of absence from our work, much as myself, so we can focus on facing these coming months together.
-- We are grateful for the education and care given to my oldest son by the faculty and staff at Woodstock School over these past two years. He has been well prepared for University experience.
-- We are in the somewhat unusual situation of living with my parents (only unusual by US convention, but would not be so in India). They are getting older now, and can also use our support. It is refreshing for them to have us in the house; and our house is large and comfortable.
-- My sister-in-law came to stay with us for the week. She lives in Wisconsin, and is a great support; always positive and ready with a joke or good back-rub. She is also a great cook. She was a great support to us back in September when we were in NYC for my initial procedures. I am glad that we are closer now, so we can see both her and family more often.
-- We received a wonderful visit from friends on Saturday; whom we had not seen in years. It was great to catch up on each other's families. We were neighbors during my time on faculty at Purdue University, over 10 years ago. All in all, a nice day and one in which I had energy to give.
-- I continue to gain new understanding of how much love and support surrounds us all. A sharing of vision from one of my greatest pen-pals (email pals) has made it clear that God is watching over me during this time; and I am not alone during my long treatments or at any other time. Although we should live by faith, and not by sight; it is still reassuring to have these reminders.
-- We get continuous support from our Church family; in the form of cookies or phone calls or visits. Even those who also have health and family concerns go out of their way to keep touch and show support. These acts of kindness mean so much.
-- The ability of my body to withstand chemotherapy is still strong; in fact I find it somewhat amazing. Surely this is a gift from God.
-- The weather has been beautiful here; and I am healthy enough to go on walks with friends and sit outside on the backyard swing to write this Blog.

Some Bible verses which have spoken to my heart this week:

2 Corinthians 6:1-2 (NIV) .. Given by my brother, who has been consistent in suggesting inspiring Bible verses:
" As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says, 'In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.' I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation ! "

Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV) .. Read during morning devotions of our family:
" Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. "

May God's peace and comfort be with all of you.
Your Friend,
BRENT

P.S. To all of my friends & colleagues from India. I greatly appreciate your adding comments of support to this Blog. I have only one request; although the formality of Indian work culture leads you to refer to me as "Sir", it is not necessary. This Bolg is about friendship. Please use my name: Brent.