Dear Friends,
We received the results of the lung biopsy, which were in line with what was expected. The nodules are the same tissue type as found in my leg initially back in September; a high grade pleomorphic sarcoma tissue. This means that there will be rapid growth, and it is urgent to take treatment course as soon as possible. The complication in treatment has been follow up on an experimental drug trial going on at another cancer center; and whether it would be wise to participate in that along with my normal chemo course. Or the other option is to stay with my current oncologist and take the more known treatments as a first course of action. We have more or less decided to take the treatments here with my current oncologist, because the drugs used would be better understood. The experimental treatment trial is initial stage, and even the correct dosages would be unknown; which could do as much harm as good. I only wish we had more time to understand these issues better.
Another complicating factor has been the absence of my wife for the past week. She had gone to India with my younger son, with intention of attending my oldest son's high school graduation from June 6 to 8th. Since the pathology report indicates reocurrence, we decided that she would bring both sons back home here to the US immediately so we can take these key decisions together. Next Monday is another doctor consolation, and likely the start of my next treatment schedule. The goal is to at least stop growth of the nodules, and take decisions from there in terms of removal or other possibilities. In other words, buy some time until better options are available. I do have some statistics on probabilities for this next treatment course, but I don't think it is helpful to get into such things because each person is different.
On the personal side, I have spend this past week with my parents, but without my wife and children (they were in India). It was a difficult time because I sometimes feel that the week has been wasted while waiting for results to become available. Physically, I feel so normal right now that I would have rather been spending quality time with my children. I continue to receive Bible readings and words of comfort from many friends, by either email or comments in this Blog. All are appreciated, and have helped me in getting through this week. I spent much time in walking, yoga, reading and reflecting this past week; sometimes with friends but mostly by myself. This has been a time of reminding that God is always there, and these quiet times before the storm are for listening to Him, growing closer to understanding of His heart and the meaning of His plans. But this can only happen if we move away from self-centered focus and take time to seek guidance and listen for answers to prayer. Easy to say, but hard to do.
One other difficulty in the coming days will be discussing the situation with my children. While they know that the cancer has reoccurred, the serious implications are not yet clear. This will be emotionally difficult for all of us to discuss, but we must all come to the same level of understanding if we are to spend meaningful time together. In this area especially, I feel great need for prayerful support and guidance.
Bible verse which has been very meaningful this week in daily devotions:
Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV)
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Prayer requests for this week:
- Safety of travel for my wife and children from India to our home in the US.
- Wisdom to make the right decision on treatment options, by both ourselves and our doctors.
- Strength to go through the new treatment phase.
- Wisdom and words to express this situation to our children, but yet be a comfort to them as we go through this phase together. That our children may be drawn to a deeper faith in God as a result.
Thank you all. Comments to these Blog posts are encouraging and very welcome.
BRENT
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8 comments:
Dear Brent,
Many thanks for taking time to share with all of us about your recent biopsy results, future treatments and family news. I am sorry to hear about the results. First of all I am happy to hear that Usha is bring Brian and Ben back to US this week to stay with you as this will make you feel better. Having an immediate family around and positive feelings would tremendously help during this stressful time.
As you said, as the time is the critical and I also strongly prefer you to go with the known drugs with your present doctors which could, hopefully, prevent the cancerous cell growth. If your personal doctor feels that the new drugs also simultaneously taken along with the old ones, may be you could try that out. I am sure you are a very wise man and you can go with the most promising treatment with the doctors’ help.
I am hopeful that one or combinations of the drugs should arrest/prevent completely the cancer cell growth. I also pray the LORD to guide the doctors to give you the most effective treatments to completely cure this cancer. I also pray to the GOD to give you immense strength to you and your family to overcome this very difficult moment in your life.
My family and I are praying for you and request the ALMIGHTY to have His blessings on you and cure this disease.
May God bless you and your family.
I will talk with you tomorrow.
With prayers,
Kasi, Sridevi and Anand
dear brent
this though anticipated by your doctors and may be by us was still a shock.
one often feels life is not fair but then it is God's will is all we can say when things are difficult to understand.
do read philipians 4:6,7.
family being together at such times means a lot and i am happy that usha brian and ben will be there soon. i also wish that God grants your doctors the wisdom and strength to decide the best for you(verse 13 ). i know new technology and medicines develop each day and we are often unable to really decide which path to take but then this is the time for divine guidance which will help your doctors decide. i also know that we are miles behind medically here but then we can definitely support you with our love,prayers and best wishes.
may God be with you and your loved ones.
christo and shobha
Hello Sir,
Let me first wish you sound health. I am praying to GOD for your good health, long and happy life. I am sure that GOD is very kind & he will definitely helps his children. We are waiting for your comeback with fine health.
With best wishes,
Satish G. Deole
Dear Sir,
Our prayers are always with you and your family , surely very soon God will answer our prayers and bless you with HIS healing power.
Yes Philippians 4:4-7 , is really a very meaningful verse,
Even if everything seems to go wrong, we can rejoice in the
Lord, for He is good and His mercy endures forever!
There is no darkness so dark that Jesus cannot overcome. There
is no situation that is hopeless. There is no problem too big
for God to fix. HE will give strength and guidance to overcome everything.
With Best wishes,
Mala Muley
Brent:
I'm sorry that my sabbatical year, which has taken me away from Champaign, has overlapped with your return to the U.S. for cancer treatment. Despite missing so much that has happened, I look forward to getting the chance to talk in person when we return from Canada. Maybe attending a baseball game in Chicago or St. Louis will be possible.
In any case, I appreciate your letting us in on your life and medical struggles. Sharing your very personal thoughts and experiences at this time is a courageous act. Thank you, for it ultimately helps all of us understand life, God, and our own fragility more deeply. As you continue this journey, may you experience peace in knowing the love of God, family, and friends.
This isn't Bob, but Rachel. I haven't figured out this blog posting procedure completely yet. But i will!
Hang in there, Brent, they will be home soon, maybe already. Thank you for letting us in on your journey, cause it's all of our journeys in so many ways.
When you mentioned your interest in writing and speaking (two Sundays ago at church) I thought of a wonderful writer by the name of Audre Lorde. She was an african-american poet/activist for justice especially for women's rights. When she found that she had breast cancer she began to write with new zeal, and one of her essays became sort of 'famous' in feminist theology circles because she named in it how much our fear of things that can't really hurt us stops us from being the large and powerful people we can be. Now that she was looking cancer in the eye she kept saying, what was I afraid of before?! And she was able to write and speak out with uncommon courage about the injustices and ways of solving them. What you said on Sunday made me think of her and what is possible when a person gets "clear" what it is that we should really be afraid of (not speaking your truth, not using your gifts)and what we shouldn't fear (being ridiculed or safe).
Here's hoping a little preachiness is as helpful as bible verses. I really only want to let you know you aren't alone, and to encourage you.
in freedom, in Christ,
Rachel
Dear Sir,
It was shocking to hear the news. But I am confident that You will fight through this and emerge victorious. My family joins me in praying for your speedy recovery. May God bless you and give you the strength to face these bad times.
Regards,
Rajeev & Shobha Pillai
Dear Sir,
I was shocked to know this.
It's a great courage shown by you and your family.
May GOD give you & family the strength to face this situation and a good health for speedy the recovery.
We will pray for your good health.
Regards,
Prashant M Pathak
Ex-Mahycoite (IT)
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