Another Update: Treatment, Health & Personal

Dear Friends,

I am sorry for not providing an update over the past weeks. A number of things have happened, but I have not felt very inspired in writing blogs due to various feelings. There is the feeling of waiting again (as always) and some degree of feeling uncertain about the realistic possibility of this treatment improving my health. These uncertainties, or doubts, have made it difficult to know how to proceed, emotionally. On the one hand, there is reason to have hope for a remission period; but on the other hand I do not want to again go through a great disappointment if this treatment stops working. I have already gone through the difficult emotions of cancer twice (my first diagnosis, and the my second diagnosis of spread), and feel the need to prepare emotionally for what may be inevitable. I have talked to my wife about whether to plan now for details of how to handle my passing; but it is hard to know how to balance these types of discussions with the need to continue being hopeful. My father has a habit of never worrying about things he cannot control. If only we could all do the same so easily.

Some of the medical events since my last blog:
-- My father and I made a trip to Mayo Clinic about one week after my surgery, and had the drainage tube removed. The drainage was so little that my body should be able to reabsorb whatever continues after removal of the drain. This is in theory, but my hematoma was chronic and I expect it to continue oozing (sorry for the graphic description).
-- One week after having the tube removed, Usha and I (along with our youngest son, as well as Usha's sister and niece) made the drive to Mayo Clinic for my second treatment. We only had to do a blood test and echo cardiogram (as part of the study requirement). For the most part, things were fine; and I took a second dose of the experimental drug. The only changes in my blood profile were related to kidney function, and it appears that this drug was having some effect on this organ which needs watching as we proceed.
-- I find that one day after my treatments, I get a rush of energy. Then in the days after this, I lose energy and need to ensure alot of sleep and good nutrition. It has now been 5 days since my treatment, and I still have feelings of tiredness. If it is like my last round, this will continue for another week, or so.
-- It has been 3 weeks since my liposuction surgery. I still have considerable pain in the nerves and muscles surrounding the site, which gets worse when I wrap the site too tightly. But there is also a degree of swelling again occurring in the hematoma site; so it is still a learning process to know how to wrap this in order to encourage absorption at the site, but yet not causing undue pain and preventing healing. My pain control drug options are not the best right now (I can only use Tylenol, which doesn't work well for me and doesn't control the muscle inflammation). I have started trying a topical ointment to numb the area so it can relax and heal faster. If anyone has better advice, let me know.

On a more personal side, my sons have now started school here. Brian is attending the Univ. of Illinois, and has moved into a dormitory. He is also working part time at the University tennis training center. So far he is very happy being a college student. Ben has just started high school today (9th grade). He is understandably nervous, but hopefully things will sort out over the next week. He is also taking piano lessons on a regular basis from a great instructor (something he could not do in India). Usha is looking at some consulting options to keep busy, and I am considering getting office space at the University to have a place to go when reading and writing. This could provide an outlet for my time, on the days when I am up to getting out of the house.

Peace to Everyone,
BRENT