Today (Monday) I went into Carle Hospital for new scans. One was to measure the heart pumping capacity to calibrate dosage of a potential new chemo drug combination; the other to again reconfirm the location of nodules in my lungs to prepare for a biopsy. Both tests went as planned, but we had a follow-up visit with a physician's assistant afterwards in preparation for my lung biopsy on Friday. This visit turned out to be very hard on me emotionally; not because of the good advice given about the lung biopsy, but because she actually showed me the lung scans on the computer screen. I had not bothered to see these while at Sloan-Kettering in NYC, but seeing them for the first time again brought up all types of emotions; disappointment and fear mostly - even though it is what we already knew going in. These feelings have stayed with me all day, but Usha has helped me talk through it and gain perspective again. I have a long way to go in placing all into God's hands; and must work every day on this. I really hope and pray that as these blogs continue, you all can see a transformation in my outlook to peace and calm for whatever lies ahead; which will come through growth in faithfulness and reliance on Him.
Here is a list of prayer requests. Please pray for healing and increase in faithfulness:
1) For a successful biopsy on Friday, and wisdom for the doctors to understand the tumor type and develop a successful treatment plan which can stop and shrink my small tumors.
2) For my spiritual growth, and faith in God's plan for our lives and beyond.
3) For wisdom to balance acceptance and faith, while never losing hope.
4) For having energy both emotionally and physically to fight through the worst of times in the upcoming weeks.
5) For being able to open my mind and spirit to place everything into God's hands.
Thank you so much,
BRENT
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