Dear Friends of Brent:
At Brent's request, this is his father writing what will be the final journal entry outlining briefly the Celebration of Life Memorial Service held for him December 1, 2007. Despite inclement weather including roadway icing, there was a large gathering of family, friends and others who had known, worked and interacted with Brent over the years. While there were certainly elements of profound sadness of the need for this occasion, at the same time there was an uplifting spirit of celebration of a life well-lived and one that had made a positive impact on many people, both as a result of his professional activities and from his writings through this blog site. For Brent, sharing these blog messages was a form of therapy over the past months as he anticipated and planned for his coming graduation from this life to the next.
Following is the program:
CELEBRATION of BRENT ZEHR'S LIFE
Prelude Music: (included was Benjamin, Brent's youngest son, playing a beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace).
Welcome
Prayer
Hymn: "When Peace Like a River"
Scripture: Isaiah 40:28-31; I Peter 1:3-9 - - Lynn and Guri Johal
Quartet: "Children of the Heavenly Father"
Sharing: Martha Moore
Scripture: Psalms 23
Sharing: Karl Cressman, Jack Widholm
Solo
Sharing: Alka and Brad Harringer
Hymn: "Amazing Grace"
Sharing: Rajmohan Gandhi, Roger Beachy
Quartet: "Day by Day"
Open Sharing
Reading: "Surely there must be....." David Wright
Hymn: "Praise God from Whom"
Postlude Music
Participants:
Ministers: Cindy Breeze and Larry Wilson
Pianists: Debra Sutter and Benjamin Zehr
Song Leader: Cindy Breeze
Quartet: Clark Breeze, Kara Hjelmstad, Rachel Rasmussen and Robin Shealy
Soloist: David Wright
Those sharing formally during the program were friends from Brent's childhood years, from undergraduate and graduate student years, from post graduate years and from years as a faculty member at Purdue University. In addition, faculty from the University of Illinois and colleagues who have worked with Brent as a research scientist reflected on his life and professional contributions. Due to the inclement winter weather, which resulted in closure of the local airport, Dr. Roger Beachy, President of the Danforth Science Center, St. Louis, MO., was unable to attend. He faxed his comments which were read on his behalf.
During the period of open sharing, many people commented on Brent's life, including those of both a professional and personal nature. Perhaps none summarized Brent's life more appropriately than Dr. Earl Kellogg, recently retired Associate Provost for International Affairs at the University of Illinois, who observed that in academic circles there is an assumption that the life of a scientist is incompatible with simultaneously having a deep religous faith. Brent's life proved that assumption false.
Brent's remains have now been cremated. At Brent's request, Usha, Brian and Benjamin will take his ashes to significant places in India and elsewhere where they have lived, worked and traveled. In Brent's own words, "My wife and children will do this, out of respect and to bring a form of closure to my life on earth - - - for everyone."
Brent's life, while much too short, was well-lived and productive. It was a privilege and honor to have had him as a member of our family.
In Lieu of flowers, the following may be considered, an eye hospital for free eye care for the poor (Shri Ganapati Netralaya, http://www.netralaya.org/) or the Urbana Park District, for Meadow Brooks Park (attn: erkirsanoff@urbanaparks.org). These may be directed to First Mennonite Church, 902 W. Springfield Ave., Urbana, IL 61801 if so desired.
Thus ends Brent's blog: http://www.brentjourney.blogspot.com/
FINIS
Monday, December 3, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Brent's Journey Has Ended
This is Brent's father writing at his request to report the conclusion of his journey with adult onset pleomorphic rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare and aggressive form of soft tissue cancer typically found in children, very rarely in adults. Brent passed away November 17th at the age of 46 years surrounded by his family at the home of his parents, John and Betty Zehr, Urbana, IL. A Celebration of Life Memorial Service will be held at 2:00 PM on Saturday, December 1st at the First Mennonite Church, 902 W. Springfield Ave., Urbana, Illinois. Since his last Blog, October 28th, Brent's health deteriorated rapidly making it impossible for him to post further messages.
Although Brent's initial Blog was in May 2007, his struggle with the disease began a year earlier. In the spring of 2006, while attending a research conference in Copenhagen, he first noticed a slight swelling at the eventual tumor site in his leg, assuming it was probably a hamstring injury and little knowing the lurking danger it posed. While struggling with this disease, he used this Blog site to openly share his thoughts, feelings and insights with the hope that others might find encouragement and comfort for their own personal journey, whatever that might be. As he neared the end of his life, Brent asked that, after he was gone, I write this post to announce his passing and later an additional final post to provide some details about the memorial service celebrating his life. He especially asked that these final posts be submitted as a way of bringing closure for those who have expressed their concerns during his difficult journey. Over the past months, Brent received cards, letters, phone calls, e-mails and Blog responses from individuals from both the US and around the world, some coming from individuals with whom he was simply acquainted, others with whom he had professional working relationships and yet others whom he had never met. For these, he was very grateful and encouraged that his posts had been an inspiration to others, many of whom also face their own difficult circumstances.
The majority of those reading his Blog knew very little about Brent other than information included in his posts. Therefore, without elaborating on the comments that appeared in his writings, I will provide a few details about his personal life: who he was, what he did and how he became the person most of you came to know only from his Blog posts.
Brent was quiet, unassuming and unpretentious, yet very bright. He was blessed with a mind of unusual perception and depth. At an early age it was apparent that he absorbed and processed information quickly and easily. As early as the second grade, his teachers remarked that "he thinks differently than the rest of the class." Throughout his grade school years, teachers often commented that he asked "what if" and "why" kinds of questions which were unusual for a child. Would not an event have turned out better if only someone had acted earlier? Why didn't someone do something about it before it was too late? He would ponder on new and different ways to deal with a situation that might have made a difference. Today, we call this "thinking outside the box." As a young child, Brent was "thinking outside the box" before the term was coined. He obtained an undergraduate degree at the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, and went on to complete a PhD in Agronomy in June of 1990. His thesis research dealt with developing unique methods to identify genetic markers to be applied in maize breeding and, in general, applications to modify and enhance plant performance, particularly those related to improved food production. Along the way, he met and married an exceptionally gifted young woman from India, Usha Barwale, who also earned a PhD degree in a similar field. During the year prior to completion and defense of his doctoral dissertation, Brent was recruited to the teaching and research faculty of Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana. After completing his PhD, he and his family moved to Purdue where he lectured, supervised graduate student training and conducted plant research with corn. Usha also held a position as a plant research scientist during their time at Purdue. In the fall of 1996, he and Usha resigned their positions at Purdue and moved with their two sons, Benjamin and Brian, then aged three and seven, to India where Brent assumed the positon of Director of Research for the Maharashtra Hybrid Seed Company (Mahyco). There, he, assisted by Usha, led teams of research scientists in the development and application of modern genetic and biotechnology techniques. Over the past decade, their work has resulted in significant improvements in an array of hybrid varieties of food, fiber and edible oil crops, all of which has enhanced the welfare of countless small farmers and their families in India and has implications for others throughout the world. Until the final weeks of his life, Brent was in conversation by e-mail with his colleagues and staff in India making comments on the results of work they had sent for his review and suggesting future avenues to pursue.
From his earliest years, Brent was an avid and skilled fisherman, much more so than his two brothers and only sister. Since I (his father) was also a fishing enthusiast, over the years we tested the waters of Illinois, Missouri, Wisconsin and Minnesota. We fished several years at a remote Canadian lake accessible only by fly-in pontoon planes. We fished at isolated lakes of the high country of British Columbia, in streams of the Cascade Mountains and the wider Pacific Ocean. We once spent a half-day off the coast of Hawaii hoping to catch a Marlin, without success. While he was an early teenager, Brent and I spent two weeks canoeing, fishing and camping in the Canadian wilderness, seeing no one and in complete isolation for the entire period. Later, as a college student, he led groups of students and adults on canoe and camping trips to the Canadian boundary waters. To the very end, he never lost the urge to get away for a time to some remote area to go fishing. In fact, during his final appointment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, upon learning from sarcoma specialists that the new monoclonal antibody experimental treatments, of which he was a subject, were unsuccessful and that there was no known treatment for his rare type of cancer and that his life would soon be ending, he called and asked if I could come and join him for one last trip to Bowstring Lake, a beautiful spot in northern Minnesota where, with his two sons, we had spent time fishing for a number of years. Regrettably, his health and energy had deteriorated to such an extent that it was not possible for us to make that "last trip to Bowstring". Rather than spending his final days in a hospital undergoing further, and undoubtedly futile, efforts to temporarily prolong his life, he and Usha made the difficult decision to return to the home of his parents to live out his final days surrounded by his immediate family while under the care of a Hospice nurse. His final weeks were marked by numerous visits from family members, from friends and other acquaintances and from professional colleagues, both from the US and abroad. Those visits were deeply appreciated and brought closure to some very meaningful professional and personal relationships.
A Final Farewell to Brent:
Brent, we were privileged and honored that you were a member of our family. Even though you left us much too soon, you had an exceptionally full and productive life. You married a spectacularly gifted wife (Usha) who has given you two fine sons. You traveled the world on research and business matters, as well as for recreational activities with your family. You were comfortable and worked effectively in both Eastern and Western cultures. You met and worked with a wide range of interesting people, from small underprivileged Indian farmers, to politicians, to academicians and Noble Prize winners. You were an outstanding research scientist whose contributions in modern plant biotechnology had a positive impact on the economic welfare of those who aspire for a better life for their families. For years to come, the results of your work will continue to influence the lives of many around the world. You were an effective administrator having gifts for the leadership required for team building to identify and develop new research initiatives and to transfer that research from the laboratory to the fields. Furthermore, as your life neared its end, your Blog posts left a lasting impact on many people, most of whom remain unknown to you. You shared your thoughts about the uncertainties of life and how one accepts the certainty of an approaching death. The raw honesty and courage with which you wrote were a continuation of the integrity you demonstrated throughout your life and the world is better because you were a part of it. Your pain has now ended and you are in a far better place. Someone has suggested that God's greatest gift to us is death because it opens the path to restoration. Brent you have now received God's final and greatest gift - - the path to restoration. With Usha's excellent nurturing skills and dedication to your family, you may rest assured that your young sons, Benjamin and Brian, will be well cared for and will grow to be a credit and honor to your legacy. While they will never fully understand the tragedy in their lives of the loss of their father and best friend, during your final weeks you spent much time and counseled them extensively about your impending death and how their lives would be affected thereafter. All of which has softened their pain and provided them with wisdom of which they would otherwise have been deprived. For this, they will be forever grateful.
Surely, there must be a place in heaven:
- where crystal clear lakes are surrounded by green forests,
- where loons cry their lonesome calls in the night,
- where walleye and northerns and muskie and bass await to play their pesky games with those trying to catch them,
- where a mallard duck swims quietly across the glassy water followed single-file by her little brood. Together, they leave a V-shaped wake, almost as if a playful God had dipped a finger in the water to create a trace across the glassy surface.
And as the early morning dawn announces a new day and the sun begins to rise over the evergreens of the surrounding forests, a bald eagle soars high overhead.
Then you will know that surely this must be a part of heaven. If not, then these are places where heaven has come down to touch the earth.
We know this for certain, Brent -- because, together, we have often watched the early morning sun rise on places such as this. Surely, God was there. So this, too, must be a part of heaven.
Farewell for now, Brent. You have gone on before us, but we will meet you at the place where there is no more pain, no more sarcomas, no more anger, no more conflict - - - only peace and praise for the One to whom we have committed our lives.
Your Dad, Mother and Family
Addendum: At Brent's request, I will submit a final Blog entry outlining something of the memorial service celebrating his life. Also, prior to his passing, in response to a number of requests, Brent asked that his Blog posts be compiled into a book for those who might be interested. To request a copy, e-mail me at: Zjbz@aol.com. Please identify your request on the subject line as: Brent' Journey. This will be helpful in sorting out those requests from routine junk mail. Pease provide a name and mailing address.
Although Brent's initial Blog was in May 2007, his struggle with the disease began a year earlier. In the spring of 2006, while attending a research conference in Copenhagen, he first noticed a slight swelling at the eventual tumor site in his leg, assuming it was probably a hamstring injury and little knowing the lurking danger it posed. While struggling with this disease, he used this Blog site to openly share his thoughts, feelings and insights with the hope that others might find encouragement and comfort for their own personal journey, whatever that might be. As he neared the end of his life, Brent asked that, after he was gone, I write this post to announce his passing and later an additional final post to provide some details about the memorial service celebrating his life. He especially asked that these final posts be submitted as a way of bringing closure for those who have expressed their concerns during his difficult journey. Over the past months, Brent received cards, letters, phone calls, e-mails and Blog responses from individuals from both the US and around the world, some coming from individuals with whom he was simply acquainted, others with whom he had professional working relationships and yet others whom he had never met. For these, he was very grateful and encouraged that his posts had been an inspiration to others, many of whom also face their own difficult circumstances.
The majority of those reading his Blog knew very little about Brent other than information included in his posts. Therefore, without elaborating on the comments that appeared in his writings, I will provide a few details about his personal life: who he was, what he did and how he became the person most of you came to know only from his Blog posts.
Brent was quiet, unassuming and unpretentious, yet very bright. He was blessed with a mind of unusual perception and depth. At an early age it was apparent that he absorbed and processed information quickly and easily. As early as the second grade, his teachers remarked that "he thinks differently than the rest of the class." Throughout his grade school years, teachers often commented that he asked "what if" and "why" kinds of questions which were unusual for a child. Would not an event have turned out better if only someone had acted earlier? Why didn't someone do something about it before it was too late? He would ponder on new and different ways to deal with a situation that might have made a difference. Today, we call this "thinking outside the box." As a young child, Brent was "thinking outside the box" before the term was coined. He obtained an undergraduate degree at the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, and went on to complete a PhD in Agronomy in June of 1990. His thesis research dealt with developing unique methods to identify genetic markers to be applied in maize breeding and, in general, applications to modify and enhance plant performance, particularly those related to improved food production. Along the way, he met and married an exceptionally gifted young woman from India, Usha Barwale, who also earned a PhD degree in a similar field. During the year prior to completion and defense of his doctoral dissertation, Brent was recruited to the teaching and research faculty of Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana. After completing his PhD, he and his family moved to Purdue where he lectured, supervised graduate student training and conducted plant research with corn. Usha also held a position as a plant research scientist during their time at Purdue. In the fall of 1996, he and Usha resigned their positions at Purdue and moved with their two sons, Benjamin and Brian, then aged three and seven, to India where Brent assumed the positon of Director of Research for the Maharashtra Hybrid Seed Company (Mahyco). There, he, assisted by Usha, led teams of research scientists in the development and application of modern genetic and biotechnology techniques. Over the past decade, their work has resulted in significant improvements in an array of hybrid varieties of food, fiber and edible oil crops, all of which has enhanced the welfare of countless small farmers and their families in India and has implications for others throughout the world. Until the final weeks of his life, Brent was in conversation by e-mail with his colleagues and staff in India making comments on the results of work they had sent for his review and suggesting future avenues to pursue.
From his earliest years, Brent was an avid and skilled fisherman, much more so than his two brothers and only sister. Since I (his father) was also a fishing enthusiast, over the years we tested the waters of Illinois, Missouri, Wisconsin and Minnesota. We fished several years at a remote Canadian lake accessible only by fly-in pontoon planes. We fished at isolated lakes of the high country of British Columbia, in streams of the Cascade Mountains and the wider Pacific Ocean. We once spent a half-day off the coast of Hawaii hoping to catch a Marlin, without success. While he was an early teenager, Brent and I spent two weeks canoeing, fishing and camping in the Canadian wilderness, seeing no one and in complete isolation for the entire period. Later, as a college student, he led groups of students and adults on canoe and camping trips to the Canadian boundary waters. To the very end, he never lost the urge to get away for a time to some remote area to go fishing. In fact, during his final appointment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, upon learning from sarcoma specialists that the new monoclonal antibody experimental treatments, of which he was a subject, were unsuccessful and that there was no known treatment for his rare type of cancer and that his life would soon be ending, he called and asked if I could come and join him for one last trip to Bowstring Lake, a beautiful spot in northern Minnesota where, with his two sons, we had spent time fishing for a number of years. Regrettably, his health and energy had deteriorated to such an extent that it was not possible for us to make that "last trip to Bowstring". Rather than spending his final days in a hospital undergoing further, and undoubtedly futile, efforts to temporarily prolong his life, he and Usha made the difficult decision to return to the home of his parents to live out his final days surrounded by his immediate family while under the care of a Hospice nurse. His final weeks were marked by numerous visits from family members, from friends and other acquaintances and from professional colleagues, both from the US and abroad. Those visits were deeply appreciated and brought closure to some very meaningful professional and personal relationships.
A Final Farewell to Brent:
Brent, we were privileged and honored that you were a member of our family. Even though you left us much too soon, you had an exceptionally full and productive life. You married a spectacularly gifted wife (Usha) who has given you two fine sons. You traveled the world on research and business matters, as well as for recreational activities with your family. You were comfortable and worked effectively in both Eastern and Western cultures. You met and worked with a wide range of interesting people, from small underprivileged Indian farmers, to politicians, to academicians and Noble Prize winners. You were an outstanding research scientist whose contributions in modern plant biotechnology had a positive impact on the economic welfare of those who aspire for a better life for their families. For years to come, the results of your work will continue to influence the lives of many around the world. You were an effective administrator having gifts for the leadership required for team building to identify and develop new research initiatives and to transfer that research from the laboratory to the fields. Furthermore, as your life neared its end, your Blog posts left a lasting impact on many people, most of whom remain unknown to you. You shared your thoughts about the uncertainties of life and how one accepts the certainty of an approaching death. The raw honesty and courage with which you wrote were a continuation of the integrity you demonstrated throughout your life and the world is better because you were a part of it. Your pain has now ended and you are in a far better place. Someone has suggested that God's greatest gift to us is death because it opens the path to restoration. Brent you have now received God's final and greatest gift - - the path to restoration. With Usha's excellent nurturing skills and dedication to your family, you may rest assured that your young sons, Benjamin and Brian, will be well cared for and will grow to be a credit and honor to your legacy. While they will never fully understand the tragedy in their lives of the loss of their father and best friend, during your final weeks you spent much time and counseled them extensively about your impending death and how their lives would be affected thereafter. All of which has softened their pain and provided them with wisdom of which they would otherwise have been deprived. For this, they will be forever grateful.
Surely, there must be a place in heaven:
- where crystal clear lakes are surrounded by green forests,
- where loons cry their lonesome calls in the night,
- where walleye and northerns and muskie and bass await to play their pesky games with those trying to catch them,
- where a mallard duck swims quietly across the glassy water followed single-file by her little brood. Together, they leave a V-shaped wake, almost as if a playful God had dipped a finger in the water to create a trace across the glassy surface.
And as the early morning dawn announces a new day and the sun begins to rise over the evergreens of the surrounding forests, a bald eagle soars high overhead.
Then you will know that surely this must be a part of heaven. If not, then these are places where heaven has come down to touch the earth.
We know this for certain, Brent -- because, together, we have often watched the early morning sun rise on places such as this. Surely, God was there. So this, too, must be a part of heaven.
Farewell for now, Brent. You have gone on before us, but we will meet you at the place where there is no more pain, no more sarcomas, no more anger, no more conflict - - - only peace and praise for the One to whom we have committed our lives.
Your Dad, Mother and Family
Addendum: At Brent's request, I will submit a final Blog entry outlining something of the memorial service celebrating his life. Also, prior to his passing, in response to a number of requests, Brent asked that his Blog posts be compiled into a book for those who might be interested. To request a copy, e-mail me at: Zjbz@aol.com. Please identify your request on the subject line as: Brent' Journey. This will be helpful in sorting out those requests from routine junk mail. Pease provide a name and mailing address.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Update on Brent's Health Status
Friends of Brent:
Brent has requested that I send a brief update on the current status of his health. Since his most recent blog post, October 28th, he has experienced increased breathing problems and his general energy has dissipated significantly. Currently, he is confined to his bed and unable to write further blog entries, therefore he wanted me to provide this information to those who might be interested. He has appreciated all those who have written words of encouragement, including blog comments, e-mails, cards and letters. Your words have been a blessing to him.
His two sons, Brian, a student at the University of Illinois, and Benjamin, a freshmen at Urbana High School, are able to spend significant periods of time with him each evening. This has been a joy for him, the boys and Usha.
Brent is receiving appropriate medical care which provides as much physical comfort as possible under the present circumstances. For this we are all grateful
We shall keep you informed in the future when further develpments concerning Brent seem appropriate.
Brent's father:
John E. Zehr
Brent has requested that I send a brief update on the current status of his health. Since his most recent blog post, October 28th, he has experienced increased breathing problems and his general energy has dissipated significantly. Currently, he is confined to his bed and unable to write further blog entries, therefore he wanted me to provide this information to those who might be interested. He has appreciated all those who have written words of encouragement, including blog comments, e-mails, cards and letters. Your words have been a blessing to him.
His two sons, Brian, a student at the University of Illinois, and Benjamin, a freshmen at Urbana High School, are able to spend significant periods of time with him each evening. This has been a joy for him, the boys and Usha.
Brent is receiving appropriate medical care which provides as much physical comfort as possible under the present circumstances. For this we are all grateful
We shall keep you informed in the future when further develpments concerning Brent seem appropriate.
Brent's father:
John E. Zehr
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Audio / Visual Snapshot of Our Life in INDIA
Dear Friends,
As possibly my final blog entry, I wanted to provide a snapshot of our family life over the past 10 years; most of which were spent in INDIA. While it is not possible to pass around photo albums to everyone interested, it is possible to put together digital images of those years into a slide sequence; and while we are at it, why not set this digital slide show to classical Indian music? In order to accomplish all of this, I had to give it as an assignment to my youngest son, Ben, who is the most techno-savy member of the family. My oldest son, Brian, helped with finding an Internet site to upload and host the slide show file. My wife, Usha, selected the images; while I selected the music.
For those friends and family who have been reading these blog pages over the past months, we hope that this audio / visual presentation will give you some idea of our life during the past 10 years in INDIA (and a few snaps of vacations in the US).
Love And Peace To ALL,
BRENT
Please note that some of these sites which host videos will also arrange video options with related names just above what you are watching. For example, other's videos which also involve the name "Brent", may be posted just above mine. Rest assured, these have nothing to do with me. The only video I have ever posted on the web is the one you will see by clicking the following link :
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2154689191696447376
As possibly my final blog entry, I wanted to provide a snapshot of our family life over the past 10 years; most of which were spent in INDIA. While it is not possible to pass around photo albums to everyone interested, it is possible to put together digital images of those years into a slide sequence; and while we are at it, why not set this digital slide show to classical Indian music? In order to accomplish all of this, I had to give it as an assignment to my youngest son, Ben, who is the most techno-savy member of the family. My oldest son, Brian, helped with finding an Internet site to upload and host the slide show file. My wife, Usha, selected the images; while I selected the music.
For those friends and family who have been reading these blog pages over the past months, we hope that this audio / visual presentation will give you some idea of our life during the past 10 years in INDIA (and a few snaps of vacations in the US).
Love And Peace To ALL,
BRENT
Please note that some of these sites which host videos will also arrange video options with related names just above what you are watching. For example, other's videos which also involve the name "Brent", may be posted just above mine. Rest assured, these have nothing to do with me. The only video I have ever posted on the web is the one you will see by clicking the following link :
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2154689191696447376
Friday, October 26, 2007
I AM NEVER ALONE
The artist of this work is Jeffery Sabol; Mystic, Connecticut. It was sent to me by my friend Jean; who lives in Mystic. I can always count on Jean for a card, picture, puzzle, small toy, or just simple email to let me know how her day went. She also planted a tree in my honor in her backyard, and sent me a couple of leaves for a keepsake.
But this picture, when I received it, immediately had tremendous impact and meaning for this phase of my life.
As in the picture, I cannot see clearly or far ahead; all appears to me to be foggy or misty.
As in the picture, the water below is calm; although I feel my life is turbulent.
As in the picture, I am the first boat, but my sails are down. I cannot go where I am used to going. I have small boats attached, so others can visit me; but I remain stationary on this water (turbulent to me, calm in actuality).
As in the picture, there is a second boat. It is not me, it is Another; it is God's Promise. No matter what the circumstance, I will only be given what I can handle and God will shoulder the rest; for I AM NEVER ALONE. God remains there, by my side, as I glide slowly through these waters from this life to the next.
Another friend asked me about this picture, again today. I don't have as much breath now, as I did a few weeks ago when I received this picture. Trying to again explain the meaning of the picture was a very emotional experience, which I could not get through without tears.
May I continue to use this picture for inspiration, and remembrance of God's Promise during this passage. I AM NEVER ALONE.
BRENT
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A Poem About LIFE
This poem was shared with me by a dear friend. It was written by Edith-Marie Appleton (1919-1991), and published in "Miss Edie's Poems" (2000).
"LIFE ?"
"LIFE ?"
I can't understand Life,
It's big, and yet it's small,
Sometimes I think I know it,
But I really don't know at all.
I can't even comprehend,
What is good or bad,
And things that make me happy,
Have also made me sad.
What is good or bad,
And things that make me happy,
Have also made me sad.
I can't express my feelings,
When I see the sky above,
It always makes me wonder,
And makes me want to love.
When I see the sky above,
It always makes me wonder,
And makes me want to love.
I wonder if I'll ever,
In my lifetime comprehend,
This mystery that awes me,
And seems to have no end.
In my lifetime comprehend,
This mystery that awes me,
And seems to have no end.
Perhaps when I have left,
This world of sin and strife,
Then and only then,
Shall I understand ... LIFE !
This world of sin and strife,
Then and only then,
Shall I understand ... LIFE !
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Quilting for Remembrance
Dear FRIENDS,
A few weeks ago, Usha and I were at Mayo Clinic for the second round of my experimental drug trial. We stopped by a small quilting shop next to our hotel. This is a nice little shop, a converted turn of the century house with many nooks and crannies showing unique quilting patterns and supplies. That day, I was having a premonition about my early passing; and talked to Usha about making two quilts, once for each of our boys, as a remembrance of their father. In that quilting shop, there were many patterns based on themes of Northern Minnesota wilderness. These patterns reminded us of many happy days spent boating, fishing and camping at Bowstring Lake and along the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. So we picked out two complicated patterns, one for each son (the pattern pictured on top is for Benjamin, and the pattern pictured on bottom for Brian), and with the idea of finishing them with my remembrance statement and date on the back. However, so far, we have not been able to make any progress on these gifts.
Many friends from our church, First Menonnite Church of Champaign-Urbana (FMC) have offered to help our family in one form or another, but have not been sure exactly what to offer. We have a number of church members at FMC who are skilled in quilting, and a woman's prayer group meets at our house each Thursday evening. This could be the type of project which would be of a great help to Usha and a gift to our family during the coming weeks.
Sincerely,
BRENT
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